Pedophile or Infertile?

I have a friend who I helped adopt a son. I like hanging out with her, but I also enjoy hanging out with her kids, especially my special little boy. She will sometimes take her kids to the free lunch in the park and when I am available, I will meet her there and we chat while the kids play. Last week I got to the park just as she called to say she was running late. Now I am standing in the park, but haven't brought any kids with me. I had the strange feeling that I looked like a pedophile. Really? Who comes to the park at prime time, but doesn't bring any children with them? Yeah, the pervert. The other sad half to this story is that my husband and I are certifiably infertile. We just don't have that procreative magic that will produce anything to birth and so it is not always easy to hang out with other people's kids. So I probably got out of the car, had that "look at all those lucky moms with all those darling kids" look on my face, and instead of running over to meet up with the ones I belonged with, I took a phone call and went back into my car. I know I don't get off on kids, but in the idea of avoiding the appearance of perversion, in that moment I wanted to hide, that or issue a public statement to all the moms in the park, "Its okay, I am here with kids! Their ride is just late!!! Please don't call the police on me because I am a single woman in the park with no apparent reason!" So I sat in the car, that thankfully I parked facing the street, until my fiends came. While waiting, someone laid out a blanket on the tiny strip of grass in front of where I was waiting and fed their kids. "Hello? Yeah, you who are keeping your kids from the park? Yeah, you see, I'm trying to not look creepy and having you sit in front of me while I eat my lunch by myself in my car isn't helping!"

So next time you go to the park and some lonely person shows up with that look on their face, just think, "Oh, they are just meeting someone who is late." If they reach in their pants, feel free to call the police. I would call too. After I bashed their head in with the nearest stroller. "Yes officer, I was trying to unfold this stroller, you know how complicated that can be, and it just came down on this dude's head! But good thing, you can see by his unconscious poise that its a good thing this 'accident' happened." (cheers).

Maybe some day I will have a baby or be the chosen family for adoption, but until then, I will just be fashionable late to lunch in the park.